Disabilities are fun

 Because I’m disabled 

Because I was born with a disease.

Because I couldn’t heal it and had to remove it.

Because I asked god to make this happen to me. 

Because I asked to have cancerous tumors which either gets regressed and healed by chemotherapy and radiation or have to take the part that has the tumor cause if i don’t it’s going to spread and kill me.

Because I survived a painful childhood.

Because I had to remove my right eye, in order for me to live. 

For me to survive and live. 

For my parents first child to not die young.

I am tired, of constantly being judged. Being treated different, like I’m some sort of a disgusting monster, like I don’t have feelings cause I’m not pretty. 

I am tired of men who literally leave me, cause, girl your face it’s just not pretty.

You think I asked to look like this? You think I like looking like this? You think I’m glad that surviving this made me have many self esteem issues? Which also was caused by people around me?

I shouldn’t be used to people replacing me, leaving me, treating me different cause of this.

I shouldn’t be judged for something I had no hand in.

Literally being judged for battling death. 

Who knew as a child I’d fight to live and now I’m craving death every day. 

Half of me wants to live, to smile, to laugh to be happy.

Other half of me wants to end the pain. 

The pain of being different. The pain of being a monster. 

At first they all like me, and when I open up and show my true self they slowly back away. 

Am I really that ugly that everyone I let in my life always leaves me?

Are ugly people not worth being loved?

Am I really just not worth being wanted or loved? 

Why is this world so cruel and judgemental.

We all crave same thing. We all work to get same things. To be happy. To find out happy place.

Yet we become selfish and push everyone around us back and take yourself to your happiness. 

We can literally pull everyone together to a happy place, but no. 

This is me venting cause she’s tired of being judged for surviving tumors in both eyes which in the end had to remove her right eye and my right eye is plastic and it looks weird on my face. 

Since what you look like matters more than my personality or who I truly am I wrote this. 

So I can send this to every new friend I make, if you don’t want to be friends with me after knowing this then i don’t care. 

Cause I’m used to it. 

Just don’t be nice to me and say it’s some other excuse, if it’s cause of my face just say it. 

I already know it is cause of it.

If you still decide to stick around after knowing this cause you aren’t a judgemental ass then well hi. 

I will be a loyal friend who’d always stick for you and be there for you always, if you let me that is. 

As to everyone who left me, cause of something that was out of my hands, you all have terrible personalities. 

You contradicted your own words. You can tell me anything, I don’t judge, I’m always here for you.