Im still very good.

So I have been posting  recently.

Which is unusual.

I'm tired.

I really am.

All this night shit is making me worse.

Last night my chest ached.

I'm scared.

I don't want to die.

I want to end the pain.

The pain of never being taken serious.

The pain of never being loved.

The pain of never being able to make friends.

I suck at everything I do.

A while ago, I just relapsed.

I cut again, after a few months of not doing it.

This is bad.

I'm aware my thoughts, and my actions are bad.

To change that is why I want to seek a professional for.

I want to live, but if no one wants to understand and helps me, I'm just gonna die.

I wish my mom was alive.

I wish I didn't survive cancer.

I wish I died, and not my mom.

I wish, I was never alive or born.

I should had been swallowed.

There is nothing I'm good at, there is literally nothing I can do.

I'm useless. And has so my dad said many times.

I can't do anything people my age normally do.

I didn't get to live a teenagers life, neither am I getting to live a adult life.

All I do is cry at night while I pity my self for being so lonely.

I try to make friends, hoping to find someone relatable and I always end up alone.

I don't know how to socialise or be cool.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I just want to end it.

Never have I ever wanted this, this badly.

I just want to fucking end it.

I can't do this anymore.