My Schmaltzy Journey of Life.

Abyss for words, trying to explain how I feel. Either I'm told I should've get over it or to not bother them. Why should I repeat when it's not going in their thick-skulled brain that I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask my past to be so grievous that it desecrated my mental health. I was weared and teared so destructively  I imploded and yet I held on to the small fragments of my self and endeavored to mend. Eventually I started to not be depressed any more since I ate the most of it away but still I couldn't control my mind, the way I thought. Still I think everyone hates me. Nobody wants me to Be here. Such a ugly living creature on this planet, better of dead. I am constantly felt like I'm unwanted, a burden. Like every other I do have friends too but when they don't reply to me as fast as I reply, I must had done something wrong. Are we even friends any more? I'm such a bad friend. It's easy to crack me up, they call me cry baby but idfc...

So you get tired of living in conflict zone whether you should deal with it or end it, and finally you decided to man up and end it; your life. You make mistakes and learn to never make the same mistakes again. Life throws problems at you and you deal with it in your best way possible. You learn how to deal with the same problem. You get an knowledge which you can share with others. You get to think about it whether you solved it in the better way or not and think of a better way. to solve it and lead others. You don't only gain knowledge in a classroom. Knowledge isn't only what's on your books it is also what you learn in your life. What are the consequences of one life dying? So one day you decided that you know what I can't take this anymore! I don't deserve to feel this way. I am so tired. Nobody cares about me. What difference could it make if I just disappear. So you disappear. You hung on your fan with the blanket your mother sew, and the next morning yo...

Brain of mine scattered,  lost in abyss. Dear oh my eyes, what made you soaking wet last night discreetly crying in dark without them being acknowledged. Negativity flowing in and in without any out come; only income. Confused, I am. Words, I can't form to express what is wrong  with me. Over thinking everything,  and making your situation worse. Way to thank my self for that. The need of serious help, and love n support from blood related ogres. Didn't meant to be so negative in life, I understand you. What ever you're going through, I will try to understand. Tell me your problem and I will put my heart to help you. Negativity can kill, so firstly please get it all out. Never doubt your self, you are the stars we all see above the sky. And when it falls; shooting star, oh my its you learning from your mistakes and hello better healed you. Nobody will love and care for you as much as your self can, so oh dear star please love and care for yourself. Please spread love,...

"My mistake was I trusted the wrong person 4 years ago, after my best friend aka mother died.  My need of a new friend who understood me took over my self making me think I loved him, love isn't that now I know. I was judged for my looks caused by surviving the so called tumor, who do I tell that im hurt? My bestfriend is no more,  the person I thought was my friend did the worst. To my misery the people I turned my arms towards begging for help decided to raise their hands and voice instead. Therefore I stayed in darkness all along, hoping death will come soon because all she ever wanted was to end everything." But she didn't know that she was strong, strong enough to conquer an army of feelings. She came out of the darkness after three years, looking into life in a positive light only to realise what happened to her was wrong. The way she was being treat was wrong. She deserved much better. The family she loved, isn't a family.  Not after the strong foundation ...