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Showing posts from February, 2020

2019 - an end

I'm scared. Why am I so strong.  Strong, that im scared of how many things I can still go thru  It's just the same everyday.  I keep on trying.  Please someone help me.  So sick of being lonely.  And when I thought everything was getting better, it's back again.  Can I just live a normal life..  I wish I had someone who understand- or try to.. I'm scared. I survived, cancer. I survived a traumatising childhood, my parents fought and fought cause Dad cheated on mom, I remember Dad getting physical during a fight. I survived my mom's death. I survived, getting bullied. I survived, the comments and taunts from my own family. I survived the hard punishments my father gave me, because I didn't study.  I'm scared because I went thru all that and yet somehow I'm alive, I did try to end it.  Somehow I didn't die..  When I was 15 I tried to hang my self. I was up on my bed with my blanket tied to the fan when my little brother, came into the...