Welcome 2018!

Just on a normal day, I visited my grandparents like I do everyday. Every time I go there they'd spoil me with love and food, which I can't complain about. I apologise before I say that, I do have a favorite and a cousin who I might love a bit more than others.

Not that I don't love my other cousins. But for me, she is very special for many reasons. My family big consists of my dad and his 3 little sisters and grandparents and of course cousins. Before this very girl I love came I was the only girl in our family. I grew up with boys.

Not that it's a bad thing cause it was fun playing football with the boys. So she's a girl, and I'm no longer the only girl. So I instantly felt closer to her because I couldn't wait to spoil her with love. Finally someone I can play tea party while babysitting. And we can't forget how she always made me happy and laugh on days I felt down.

Even if she isn't aware of what she's doing, she became my happy pill. And that  very day she wasn't home, she was at hospital doing blood tests. No big deal right? Well they came back (they as in my aunt and uncle and my girl) around 6 pm in evening and like always my day became better.

We laughed like mad before she slept and I was going back home and before I could wear my shoes. My aunt n uncle had to go to hospital because those blood reports, there's something not cool in those. Of course they took my sleeping cousin and I decided to join them to help them. I don't know much details about this, even if I do I'm worried I might say something wrong so let's just not talk. And then just like the sun set we found out she has leukemia.

It's usually not this dark at sun set but everything started to feel like pitch darkness surrounding me. I wanted to cry, but if I did my aunt and uncle would too. So I hugged her and told her not to cry, yet. My cousin is awake and it would make her sad too. And then after 2 or 3 days they had chosen to take me with them to Bangalore and first of all I was skeptical. I didn't want to be Un helpful. This is a big big problem.

The child they waited for years and years has a life threatening disease. For weeks I had to hear her crying and complaining about being connected to wires and doctors and nurses always pricking her. The strings in my heart was tugging hard and I just wished and prayed to god that please let me wakeup soon and this just be a dream. Please just please make a miracle happen and let her be cured. And I am the cousin sister.

The pain her parents must had been going through is much vast and deeper than mine. But witnessing the pain, the not eating cause she is unconscious, made me miss my mother, reminded me of how my mom and dad was in a similar place. I once was in my cousins place. But I had  tumor. And she has cancer.

The months went by pretty quick, I thank God cause she was getting better day by day. I had created a lot of happy memories with her. She won't talk to me until I bought her, her favorite chicken nuggets and french fries. She won't eat them unless I draw a face of her liking with ketchup in her plate.

We would dance to her favorite Justin Bieber song which I hate. I would secretly spoil her with a few more chocolates bars which her parents had told her no. We would bake cakes in the microwave and sing happy birthday to each other before actually eating the cake.

She is the most dramatic person I have ever known! She would fake cry whenever I took her nose. She would randomly make faces and dance. She was my goofy, dramatic, smart mouth, adorably heart twisting happy pill. And I am her sister. Mind you, she still is all of the above including strong. I always read articles about kids going through different types of cancer but never thought anything like this would happen to anyone I love.

Life is unexpecting, the months I spent in a blur with beginning of tears I had to hide and comfort my aunt ended with joy. The medicine was working on her. She was getting better. I was getting positive vibes from life. She is full of life. She was flourishing me with positivity. I started to love the things I had in my life. I started to value things more than  I did. My eyes were no longer blind to this situation, I learnt a lot more and I can't explain this.

I started to socialise. With nurses, store clerks and store helpers, to the managers at my apartment, the auto drivers. And most of the time I had to talk in Hindi, and it was fun.  I was so ready to come back home and now I am and I feel amazing. But I miss her a lot more than I can handle my self. I wish I didn't had to come.

But I have to, continue my studies and most importantly I can't wait for what's in for me this year. The positivity rush I have is making me excited to the extent of my skeletons trying to get out of me. Hopefully soon she will come back and I can't wait to hug her, I can't wait to dance with her, to bake cakes with her, to spoil her with chocolates and sweets. And this is my "Happy New Year post"